New Gawker filings from right before Hulk Hogan’s racist & homophobic tirade came out are a LOT more interesting in light of said comments that got Hogan fired by WWE. Plus all of the usual reviews & international news.
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by David Bixenspan (@davidbix)
On Friday, June 24, The National Enquirer and Radar Online released the first batch of hate speech discovered on one of Hulk Hogan’s sex videos with Heather Cole that was secretly recorded by Bubba the Love Sponge Clem’s home security system. As alluded to last week and confirmed in court this week, Gawker’s lawyers were aware of the existence of the tirade, as they had seen the video thanks to the company’s lawsuit against the FBI, plus there was some kind of sealed filing containing the transcript in Hogan’s lawsuit against Gawker.
Coincidentally, that same day, there were several new filings from Gawker in the FBI lawsuit, all pertaining to issues with what the FBI has and hasn’t produced to them after being ordered to do so by a federal judge.
As we’ve discussed in past stories, there have been all sorts of shenanigans with what the FBI has provided to Gawker’s lawyers. Redacted documents included public news articles and emails that the FBI had filed unredacted as exhibits in the lawsuit. People who had already been publicly identified as part of all this (namely Bubba Clem on the sex videos and alleged extorter Keith Davidson on audio recordings of the FBI’s sting operation) had their voices and image redacted. Most notoriously, one of the videos had an audio glitch where, suddenly, to quote Gawker attorney Seth Berlin, it “had an audio track that was duplicated from another video at a key moment.” They knew was “a key moment because” not only did they have the transcripts Davidson prepared, but the FBI had provided, to quote Berlin, ” an audio CD [of the sting operation] where you can hear that same DVD with a different audio and they’re [Hogan, Davidson, and Hogan attorney David Houston] listening to it.”
In court, Berlin tried to jump through hoops to try not to accuse the FBI of being willfully deceptive. Gawker founder/owner Nick Denton, in the July 10th blog passive about “Hulk Hogan’s real secret” that’s been quoted everywhere this past week, wasn’t so kind, referring to “irregularities in the recordings which indicate some sort of cover-up.” That said, you have to remember that a law enforcement agency that refuses to be named suddenly started reinvestigating the videos/extortion attempt after Gawker filed their second formal request with the FBI, allowing the FBI to invoke a law enforcement exemption due to an ongoing investigation. Gawker believes it was a favor that Hogan called in to a favor from a friend in a local law enforcement agency. As for Denton, he also added that “this prediction is based on court filings, existing press reports and publicly available information. Our external lawyers and in-house counsel are severely limited in what they can tell me.”
So that brings us to the new filings. Gawker started with an objection to the FBI’s responses to their Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests, Vaughn Indexes (defined by the Office of Government Information Services as “a document that agencies prepare in FOIA litigation to justify each withholding of information under a FOIA exemption”), and declarations. It primarily covers the issue of what the FBI has and hasn’t produced as well as why that’s a problem, and appears to contain multiple references to the racist and homophobic comments Hogan made. I’m keenly aware that the first three bullet points here here are a little dry, but trust me, it’s necessary, and it gets VERY interesting:
* So far, the FBI has produced 1,178 “extensively-redacted pages of documents,” two redacted audio CDs (the Davidson sting operation), three redacted DVDs (theoretically the sex videos), “one of which appeared to be materially incomplete [74 seconds of an empty bed] and one of which had serious audio irregularities [see earlier note],}” two “re-processed” but still redacted DVDs (note that the videos with issues were the two that Gawker didn’t already have), three declarations from David Hardy of the FBI, a Vaughn Index that only made reference to “those documents the FBI withheld in full” (meaning it didn’t explain redactions of documents they produced), one page with no redactions (“a news report from Gawker.com,” which I’m guessing is A.J. Daulerio’s article about the sex video sent to Gawker), three pages of “almost entirely redacted emails,” another 22 pages of documents (12 partially redacted), most of which that Gawker provided in the first place, another Vaughn Index, a declaration from Tricia Francis of the Executive Office for United States Attorneys, and a declaration from Belinda Brown, who appears to be an open records specialist.
* Among other inconsistencies, there are three pages of “almost completely redacted emails between federal employees in the Middle District of Florida” were released in spite of not being listed in a Vaughn Index, meaning that the U.S. Attorney’s office had given n reason why they were exempt from being released unadulterated. The FBI has also turned over just 1,178 of a total claimed 1,306 pages, meaning 128 pages are not accounted for.
* Items of interest referred to in the produced documents but not turned over are a video of the December 14, 2012 sting operation, any official record (no audio, transcript, or notes) of a recorded phone call between David Houston and “a person who appears to be Keith Davidson,” audio of a December 5 call between the two where they did turn over a transcript, communications between Hogan and/or Houston and the FBI (Gawker knows they exist because Hogan and Houston turned them over, but “their omission from the FBI’s production raises serious concerns about the completeness of that production”), a letter from the Assistant U.S. Attorney explaining the decision not to prosecute Davidson, the transcripts of the sex videos (yes, including the racist and homophobic comments) originally attached to the agreement Davidson and Hogan signed during the sting,”at least” two earlier drafts of the agreement (again, this is something they have from Hogan), and witness statement from “a person whom we think is well- known but whom we have identified only in [a confidential declaration]” that they’re aware of due to the presence of handwritten notes about it in the produced documents.
* The Gawker side then takes issue with the FBI’s aforementioned handling of the audio and videos, though there are some new details that are especially interesting in light of this past week’s events. It’s noted that on the DVD with the audio issues that worked to remove key audio content,” starting “[t]he significance of the removed audio content is described more fully” in one of their confidential objections. This week, it was confirmed that there were confidential filings including the transcript of Hogan’s now-infamous comments, so that would appear to be what’s being talked about here, especially in light of this passage (emphasis mine):
“While the FBI agreed to re-reprocess the videos and to produce them again to the state court,it has offered no explanation as to how and why the initial production failed to produce any content on one DVD and the audio was altered at a key moment in the second DVD. Given the substantial questions this raises, and the substantial devotion of resources by the state court and the parties to the Florida Litigation reviewing and addressing improperly produced DVDs, the FBI should be required to explain under oath how perhaps the most significant audio content on the three DVDs came to be dubbed over.”
* The plaintiffs move on to note that the FBI’s explanation of what’s exempt has been insufficient, especially in light of the judge’s comments about the agency improperly changing which exemptions they were invoking over time. It’s also argued that the indexes are incomplete and inadequate, similar to what’s mentioned above. Privacy exemptions are being applied “to broad categories of people (many of whom often do not appear to be implicated by a particular document) without showing how or why disclosure would result in an unwarranted invasion of personal privacy.”
* This pretty much speaks for itself: “They have redacted the names of key participants in this incredibly public dispute, including Bubba Clem and Keith Davidson. There are passing references to Hulk Hogan’s wife ‘_______’ and his son, ‘________,’ as if their identities are somehow a secret. They have redacted the name of Seth Berlin, Gawker’s counsel. And, they have redacted the already-public names of the attorneys and special agents in the United States Attorney’s Office and FBI who handled the investigation even though they have no personal privacy interest in connection with the performance of their official duties on a routine matter involving no threat of harassment to them.” Gawker cites caselaw setting the precedent that for witnesses, subjects of investigations, and/or informants to be deemed private in this context, the FBI “must at least explain the ground for concluding that there is some factual basis for concerns about ‘harassment, intimidation, or physical harm.'”
Gregg D. Thomas, Gawker’s outside defense counsel who is also a co-plaintiff in the FBI lawsuit, also filed a declaration in support of the objection being summarized here. “The largest number of unwarranted redactions relate to the target of the FBI investigation: Keith Davidson,” he wrote. “His name appears to be redacted on nearly half of the pages that have been produced, and his voice is removed from the audio recordings of conversations that were produced.” In a California filing attempting to block a Gawker subpoena, Davidson wrote that he “was involved in a transaction regarding the potential sale of certain rights in the Video which led to criminal investigations in Florida.” In the same matter, there’s a filing from Hogan stating that “Davidson was involved in an FBI investigation relating to an attempt to extort money from Mr. Bollea by threatening to release recordings depicting Mr. Bollea if Mr. Bollea did not pay money,” also adding that “Attorney Davidson …] represented certain parties involved in that FBI sting.” The FBI side has also identified Davidson publicly during a hearing and in past filings.
* Thomas also notes that other redactions include:
“[R]eferences to the names of Hogan’s ex-wife, current wife, daughter and son, where other people mention them in passing and where their identity is obvious because they are otherwise identified by their familial relationship to Hogan.”
“The FBI production includes passing references by others to Howard Stern and his show. The fact that Hogan and Bubba Clem appeared on Mr. Stern’s nationally-broadcast radio program is obviously a matter of public knowledge.”
“In several places the Government has redacted nicknames and pseudonyms used by Hogan, even though he has submitted a privacy waiver. It is well known that Mr. Clem called Mr. Bollea ‘Hootie.’ Additional information on this subject is attached to my confidential declaration because it has been designated as ‘CONFIDENTIAL’ by Hogan under the protective order in the Florida Litigation.”
David Houston’s business manager, TMZ’s Mike Walters, FBI investigators, and attorneys for Bubba Clem, Heather Cole, and the federal government also had their names redacted, which is ridiculous but not addressed in as amusing a fashion as in the above quotes.
Now, let’s go back to the earlier filing…
* [T]the production of documents has confirmed that Hogan and his counsel told the FBI one version of events, while telling Gawker and the state court a materially different version of events. […] In the short term, Gawker seeks unredacted documents to be able to demonstrate to the state court and the jury in its upcoming trial that Hogan’s proffered version of events departs in material respects from what he and his counsel David Houston told the FBI and what that investigation reveals. […] It is essential both to Gawker’s defense of the $100 million lawsuit against it, and to the public’s understanding of that high profile case and the FBI’s companion investigation, to ensure that the Government’s assertion of so-called privacy interests on behalf of already-known participants is not used to shield the truth.”
There’s another reference to a confidential declaration in here, as well. It’s worth pointing out that there have been mainstream articles stating that, in the Bollea v. Gawker trial in state court that’s now set for March 2016, Gawker is barred from talking about why Hogan filed the suit. That seemed pretty odd until this last week.
* The next to last section (it ends on Gawker dissecting why the various exemptions cited don’t apply) pertains to their goal is to get everything mentioned above rectified when it comes to the indexes and producing everything that should be produced, and includes this:
“In addition to Gawker’s status as a litigant in state court, it is also a news organization. While documents produced to Gawker have, for now, been designated as ‘CONFIDENTIAL – ATTORNEYS’ EYES ONLY,’ Gawker believes that it – and more generally the public – properly has a right to scrutinize the Government’s handling of this matter. Here, the FBI devoted substantial resources to an extortion investigation initiated by a prominent public figure and international celebrity, only to have the United States Attorney ultimately decline to prosecute. Under one view of this case, advanced publicly by Hogan, Davidson tried to extort Hogan by threatening to disclose content from three sex tapes, and there are questions about why he was not prosecuted. Under this view, the public deserves to know why the Government did not prosecute someone trying to shakedown a celebrity over a sex tape that purportedly was filmed surreptitiously and allegedly disseminated without the celebrity’s knowledge or consent.
Under a different view of the case, and without intending to call into question the good faith of the FBI agents and AUSA involved, all of whom have been extremely above board in all of our dealings with them, the records could be viewed to suggest that Hogan sought to use the resources of the federal government to suppress unflattering, but truthful speech about him that could damage his celebrity brand. [Footnote: “In addition, most extortionists do not engage in criminal conduct while memorializing the transaction in a written agreement allowing for payment in installments over time.”] Essentially, Hogan faced embarrassment about the content of the tapes, and Davidson’s suggestion that he might speak about what was contained on them may well have been constitutionally protected.”
That sure sounds like Gawker is saying that it looks like Hogan requested that Davidson not be prosecuted because the tirade that’s dominated the news would have inevitably become part of the public record. It certainly seems like a legitimate possibility at this point. As much as Hogan’s side is arguing that Gawker was behind the leak, it seemed unlikely because if it was proven, Gawker would lose the equivalent to a default judgment. Seeing that they filed all this seems to reinforce that, as the timing of it being filed the day of the leak is so amusingly ridiculous that they and their lawyers would have to be colossal idiots to have been behind it.
To most lucha fans, the most interesting story of the past week in Mexican wrestling was the War of Words between Alberto el Patron and family and friends of Myzteziz on Twitter. The details have been covered fairly widely, but as Inigo would say, to sum up, out of the blue on Twitter earlier this week Alberto threatened to take out Myzteziz, any of his family who might get in the way, especially those in the Tepito Barrio (i.e., the family tough guys), and might use a gun to achieve his aims if necessary. Cooler heads prevailed later in the week and much of the back-and-forth twittering vanished from the site, though enough of the conflagration was captured and saved that one could pretty much get it all with an active internet search session.
As of yet, no one know what set Alberto off like this. It’s certainly not something his employer would have wanted to happen in public, that much is certain, and though some of this may well come out next week as Alberto does media spots to promote the card and its accompanying PPV / iPPV.
There’s not much other news on AAA other than the announcement of the matches for TripleMania XXII next Sunday night the 9th. Next week in these pages, we’ll have an extensive preview and in doing so catch up on what additional news there is to report as the promotion heads into its biggest show of the year, including ordering information for watching it wherever you might be, home or on the road.
Before discussing CMLL, as long as Alberto is on the mind, just want to note here that MIL MÁSCARAS worked a show this past July 16th in Mexico – the day of his actual 76th birthday (in his work biography, it would have been his 73rd, not 76th, but either one is hella old; I think wrestling at age 76 would make him the 2nd-oldest wrestler in history for which we have confirmed data). Can he make it 4 more years to 80? Better yet, WHY IS HE STILL DOING THIS? If you r name is not Negro Casas, 50 is a major life barrier to this world of pounding, punishing, broken noses, and more. How does anyone who is past 70 do this and STILL GET OUT OF BED the next day. I guess it’s like what BB King was supposed to have said when someone asked him after 50 years of touring up to 300 nights a year, how does your voice still hold up, and he said well it holds up because I tour 300 nights a year every year. You just get used to that being what your life is.
As for CMLL, not yet mentioned here is the fact that Rush and La Sombra, though they appear to have been legitimately provoked and protected by security not a whit, nonetheless physically attacked fans at a show in Guadalajara earlier this month, for which the state of Jalisco Box y Lucha Commission suspended them for 90 days. This is (and has been for many years) also quite the severe no-no in the front offices of CMLL; a much less public suspension has been put in place for the two by their employer. Since the incident, La Sombra has been booked in Puebla (he will be having a singles match versus Volador Jr there this coming Monday evening, with live free streaming available in HD from the arena possibly available); Rush has not. This may affect their Anniversary show plans, and unless they are cleared by 9/4 (less than 60 days after the incident), then it would also affect their Universal Champion of Champions tournament, as La Sombra is one the current champions that would be working that tournament. Will Paco Alonso put discipline ahead of promotional consistency? He’s done so in the past, and remember, in the discussion of anniversary show main-eventers, Mr. Niebla is, for the moment, BACK. Oh and the semifinals of en Busca de un Idolo are underway as we head towards the almost certain Boby Zavala/Guerrero Maya Jr. final on 8/21.
With the G1 well under way, and set to continue on until deep into August, we’re going to take a weekly look at the best matches the tournament has offered up. We talked last week about the two stand-out bouts from opening night but there’s been no shortage of great contests since then.
Kyoto on the 24th was such a fun show. The crowd was hot for everything from the undercard tag matches to the main event featuring hometown boy Hiroyoshi Tenzan against Hiroshi Tanahashi. However the showstealer was Katsuyori Shibata taking on Tetsuya Naito. The latter is in the midst of putting together his new character and he should really use this match as his template going forward. He was outstanding at working in his new “apathetic asshole” persona into the match in creative ways which added to the action and story. Shibata, the no nonsense hard man, was the perfect contrast as the opponent and he delivered one of his fieriest performances in a while. The match was crazy stiff with Shibata seemingly hitting Naito harder and harder based on how irritated he was getting by him. The finish was perfect as Naito had been dominating, and getting closer to putting Shibata away but Shibata nailed him with a vicious slap out of nowhere which changed the momentum completely He sunk in the sleeper hold, hit his Penalty Kick and got the 1-2-3.
Naito got a chance to showcase the new act in the Hiroshima main event against Tanahashi but the highlight bout was the match which preceded it – AJ Styles vs Kota Ibushi. They put together a match which was shorter than their title match in April, but also more dynamic. The athleticism and precision on display was off the charts, and they used it for some amazing spots. Ibushi hit a wild head-scissors to the floor which saw AJ take one heck of a bump, they teased a top rope Styles Clash which Ibushi countered with a super hurricanrana and AJ hit perhaps his greatest ever “Superman” (his springboard forearm which he’s been doing for 15 years). Ibushi ate the Hollow Point and Bloody Sunday but unlike April, he crucially avoided the Styles Clash (which is portrayed as THE death move in New Japan). That allowed him the opportunity to hit his own big move, the Phoenix Splash, and get arguably the biggest scalp of his New Japan career.
Tuesday’s show in Beppu was a solid event with three strong matches at the top of the card. The pick of the bunch was Hirooki Goto vs. Tomoaki Honma which was exactly what one would hope for from that match-up. Hard hitting, plenty of Honma fire-up spots and some good nearfalls. It was definitely Goto’s best match of the tournament so far as he looks to establish himself as a top guy following his victories over Shinsuke Nakamura for the Intercontinental title in recent months.
Arguably the match of the tournament so far occurred on Wednesday in Fukuoka. It was a match that many had circled when the schedule was announced – a dream match pitting two of New Japan’s best against one another for the first time. Kota Ibushi once again proved his versatility as a performer, stepping into Katsuyori Shibata’s world and having an incredible “Shibata style” match. The strikes were ferocious from the get-go with neither wrestler backing down or holding back. The games of one-upmanship were intense and gripping throughout. It was very reminiscent of Shiabta’s past classics with Goto, Honma and Tomohiro Ishii but Ibushi added his own flair to it to make it unique. After 14 minutes of insanity, Shibata countered a flurry of strikes with the most evil slap in the history of wrestling, immediately grabbed a sleeper and followed up with the PK for the win. Just fantastic stuff.
WCW Monday Nitro (7/29/96)
They showed clips from WCW in Saturday night, with footage shot by and featuring the Outsiders, as they showed Lex Luger being called away to take a phone call, leaving Sting all alone, and they jumped him and slammed his car trunk on his back several times. Nobody mentioned this, but as Hall and Nash were throwing shots, they had to have a third man there to hold the camera. They emphasized that Sting’s injuries were minor and he was fine, but said you never knew when the next attack might happen. FORESHADOWING~!.
Mike Enos vs. Hacksaw Duggan. Or, as Larry Zbyszko called him, “oh no, not Hacksaw!” Schiavonie said that Rough & Ready was having tensions with Col. Rob Parker. Already? They’ve had one match! You could tell the year was passing, because even though these shows at MGM/Disney were at the same time every week, they were now starting at dusk instead of broad daylight. They had a stiff, energetic brawl, stopping for the occasional chinlock. See, restholds serve a purpose when the rest of your action is intense, because it gives the audience a chance to catch their collective breath. They did do a terribly bad double-shoulderblock bump. This went too long and Duggan had several comebacks thwarted, then one with a taped-fist punch. Zbyszko finally explained the mystery of the taped fist: you were allowed to tape your ankles or wrists to prevent or treat injury, but taping your fist was illegal, which is why Duggan couldn’t enter the ring with taped fists. Gene Okerlund then interviewed Hacksaw. Hacksaw was genuinely hurt and disappointed Hulk Hogan had turned his back on all the kids at Make-A-Wish and the Special Olympics. Hulk had been to his home and held his two little girls in his arms. He called Hulk a great technical wrestler (?), but he said he didn’t want to wrestle Hulk, he wanted to beat him up. A hell of a promo, really.
Ric Flair & Chris Benoit & Steve McMichael vs. Lex Luger & Sting & Randy Savage. Flair was back after his absence last week with no explanation. A huge six-man brawl from the get-go. I believe Savage here was the biggest star yet to take a Benoit chop. They rumbled for a minute, then the match was interrupted to show a Glacier promo. yeah. After the break, the match formally started. Add Sting to the list of dudes Benoit chopped. Savage and Flair brawled over by Flair’s fancy dinner table. Schiavonie noted that Flair “had fruit all over him!” So, as you’ll recall, Chris Benoit murdered two people in 2007, one of whom was standing on the floor in this match, and because of this, there will be something said on commentary in every single one of his matches that is sickening in that new context. So early on they did this kind of like a lucha match, in that it was three separate one-on-one matches all going on at once, and somebody had the bright idea to match McMichael up with Luger. Yeah. Mongo fell out of the ring while running the ropes. Sting and Luger took turns beating the absolute holy hell out of Flair. At last they got the heat on Sting for a while. Flair put him in the figure-four, making sure to grab Woman’s hands for extra leverage. Just before Sting made his hot tag, Jimmy Hart came running down to ringside, screaming that the Outsiders were in the back and begging for a cameraman to head to the back. The camera guy left, then Hart hit the apron, trying to get the attention of all six wrestlers. The camera cut backstage, where the Outsiders had baseball bats and Marcus Bagwell and Arn Anderson were already down. Scotty Riggs was soon laid out too. Then Rey Mysterio Jr. ran out of a trailer and tried to wipe out Nash with a plancha off the handrail. This failed, and we then got the infamous lawn dart bump as Nash launched him headfirst into the side of the trailer. This made a great sound as his head and hands hit the trailer, but honestly I’m sure that hitting the ground was much, much worse. Hall and Nash then got in a limo, which started to drive away, but then Randy Savage, who was legit insane, ran up on top of the car and tried to get in through the sunroof. The limo drove off around the corner with Savage still in tow. The match was thrown out as the Horsemen and the babyfaces tended to their fallen friends. The guys who had been in the ring, of course, hadn’t seen anything, and had no idea what was going on. Woman, who had never shown any redeeming qualities or weakness of any kind, was nearly weeping and screaming for an ambulance. Mongo was screaming his head off about the Outsiders. The announcers were just silent for all this. Everyone backstage was talking or screaming about something. It wasn’t so much what they were saying, but all the noise made it all the more chaotic, which is what they were looking for. We did hear Rey telling Eddy Guerrero and Alex Wright that he had seen four guys, not three. They loaded him on a stretcher as he cried out Eddy’s name. They had to take his mask off, and he covered his face with his hands. Schiavonie pointed out that luchadors never took their masks off in public, under any circumstances. Alex got into the ambulance with Rey as Eddy was left behind. They went back to the Horsemen, where Benoit was looking at Arn laid out and nearly weeping. Meng showed up, his intentions unclear, and Benoit backed him down as Hart dragged him away. They went back to ringside, where Schiavonie and Zbyszko had no idea what to do, then eventually threw it to commercial.
After the break, Eric Bischoff and Bobby Heenan had joined Schiavonie and Zbyszko. Eric was near tears. Heenan said he was not doing a wrestling interview, he was a man with a history of neck surgeries and permanent nerve damage, and this job was not worth his health and safety. Eric said he couldn’t guarantee anything, and Heenan walked away. They went to the back, where Arn was finally put onto a stretcher. Announcers talked about how they were trying to get some standby matches into the ring, but given the chaos, it was impossible to even tell who was available. Fans started to chant “BORING” and Bischoff explained they had no monitors out there to show the fans what was going on. Flair got into an ambulance with Arn, then Bagwell got loaded into the same one and Sting climbed in too. The image of Sting and Flair putting their decade-long rivalry aside to care for their friends spoke volumes. At this point they went to commercial. So, here is why this whole thing was so necessary, and so important historically. While Hogan’s turn at Bash at the Beach had been legendary, everything the nWo had done since then had been lame, lame, lame. One interview on Nitro when half the crew wasn’t there, hanging some sheets over big aluminum letters, and entering the TV truck to harrass the A/V squad? Lame! And here, instantly, they were a threat to the well-being of everyone on the entire roster, and this was the polar oppposite of a “to the back” moment. It was nearly 20 minutes of TV time from the point when Jimmy Hart ran down to ringside to the point the next match began, and that is not counting two or three commercial breaks, so this would have been nearly a half-hour of real time on a midsummer night in 1996. And the vast majority of this time was spent watching EMTs do their thing and tending to the fallen. So yeah, this was a major, major, major deal.
Steiners vs. High Voltage. This is a standby match if ever I’ve seen one. They claimed High Voltage were making their Nitro debut, which wasn’t true. Rick was circling the ring on the floor, ready for an attack from any direction. Bischoff finally pointed out that they had no idea where Randy Savage was. Scott was trying to get Rick’s head in the match as the Disney fireworks went off. High Voltage were so totally the Blake & Murphy of the ’90s. They worked their asses off and everything they did looked good, there was just no reason at all to care about either one of them. So this was a tag match, and then at the end, Scotty decided it was time to do something amazing. So he picked up the brunette in High Voltage, a 300-pound man, and he hit him with a STEINER SCREWDRIVER, dropping him from a suplex position into a sitting tombstone where it’s almost impossible to protect yourself. This is the kind of move that resulted in Steve Austin’s neck being screwed up forever. I have no idea how Scott didn’t break this dude’s neck, except that he’s so ridiculously strong he can do whatever he wants. So yeah, Steiners won.
Big Bubba vs. Eddie Guerrero. Bubba beat him up for a long time and nobody really cared. I mean, they tried to chant Eddy’s name, but he went about five minutes between offense here, and there was just nothing going on. Bischoff said they had national news outlets calling trying to find out what was going on. It was his job to deliver this news in as somber a manner as possible, but he had to be giggling on the inside. Lots of chinlocks and stuff. I can’t believe Duggan and Enos had a better match than Eddy and Bubba. Finally Eddy hit a rana and a few punches. Bubba tried to grab Jimmy Hart’s megaphone, but Eddy sunset flipped him and the megaphone went flying and Eddy got the pin. What a boring match.
OH GOD THERE ARE STILL FIFTEEN MINUTES TO GO.
More history, as we got the first “following announcement paid for by the nWo” video, and the debut of the porno music. I can’t help but notice the irony of Hulk Hogan cutting a promo in, well, black and white. They said they had all the money and power, there were more members coming, Sting and Luger had gotten soft on Billionaire Ted’s money. Hogan plugged his match on August 10 against the Giant. He talked about WCW being so weak they had to go begging the Giant to come fight Hogan for them. Hall and Nash vowed to beat Sting and Luger. I have ripped up WCW’s video packages in the past, but this was awesome. AWESOME. It didn’t look like anything else on the show, it was totally different, it was totally unique, and it made them look terrifying and badass and, yes, cool.
They recapped the nWo attack.
Greg Valentine vs. the Giant. STANDBY MATCH IN FULL EFFECT. Valentine got a flurry of offense, but then he went up top and Giant grabbed him by the neck and chokeslammed him down. Not satisfied, he picked Valentine up and hit another for the win. He then cut a promo into the camera telling Hogan to listen close. Then he flexed as Okerlund hyped up their interview. He started off doing a Hogan parody, then said that proved how easy it was to fall for Hogan’s con. He said Hogan had conned America and told them what they wanted to hear, but he never believed it himself. He said Hogan had started the nWo because he knew he would be the big fish in WCW. Finally he said that if WCW didn’t hang together, they would hang separately. Just a great, great promo. Like, so great it felt like taking the belt off him would be a huge mistake, or maybe he should have been the guy to finally end the nWo a year later instead of Sting. Hart said that in his wrestling career he had lied so much he didn’t know whether to believe himself, and someday he would have to answer for that, but for right now he was promising that they would take out Hogan this Sunday. Also a great promo. They showed Rey hitting the trailer one more time, and then the show ended. Well, that was a big show, and it was an important show, and it must be considered a good show, but watching it back I can tell you that it was also a LONG show.
NJPW on AXS (7/25/15)
Katsuyori Shibata vs. Tomoaki Honma from the 2014 G1 Climax on August 3, 2014. Mauro Ranallo and Frank Shamrock were on commentary. They pointed out that Honma was an injury replacement in the tournament who had lost each of his first six matches up to this point. Shamrock said Honma had a lot of heart, but some of his techniques were “a little sketchy.” They had a furious start, then slowed things down a bit. There was an obvious edit where they went from the floor to back in the ring, and Ranallo didn’t try to hide it. Honma kept going for his falling headbutt, a very basic move, but he kept missing, so when he finally hit it they all went nuts. Crowd was totally behind Honma here. He ran wild, but Shibata laid him out in the corner and hit a series of elbows basically from the mount, then hit a hesitation dropkick. They went to commercial, and afterwards Shibata was still working him over. Honma hit a running headbutt and a brainbuster for a nearfall. He tried a Bernard driver, but Shibata slipped behind and hooked a sleeper. Shibata threw a kick and Honma caught it. So Shibata, standing on one leg, threw about a dozen stiff slaps to the face, using both hands. Honma took them all, then dropped the leg and put Shibata on the ground with one giant slap. That was the best spot I ever saw right there. Honma hit the Bernard driver and tried a top rope headbutt, but Shibata got the feet up. They went back and forth a bit, then Shibata finally hit a GTS and penalty kick for the win. They said this went 10:47, and it felt like most of that made TV. They should have taken it home right after that headbutt spot, but either way this was totally awesome.
Honma cut a promo vowing that people would know that he had fought in the tournament.
Yujiro Takahashi vs. Kazuchika Okada. Ranallo let us know we were only seeing highlights. Okada tried a tombstone, but Takahashi grabbed the ref to block it, then hit a low blow. Shamrock said that groin shots should be illegal. Word. Takahashi got a nearfall with a sitout dominator. Okada hit his dropkick and Frank just said that Takahashi had run into his feet. No, he is not as good as Josh Barnett. Okada followed with the tombstone and the rainmaker for the win. Takahashi’s head hit HARD on that clothesline. This was forgettable.
Gedo cut a PISSED OFF promo on Okada’s behalf backstage. They then asked Okada a long question about Takahashi’s interference costing him the IWGP title, and Okada replied “nope” and stormed off.
Tanahashi talked about suffering a neck injury against Bad Luck Fale. He talked about his three-way rivalry with Shibata and Nakamura.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi. They stalemated a few times on the mat, so Tanahashi mocked him with some air guitar. That pissed Nakamura off and he slapped Tanahashi several times. This was eight days into the tournament, and both guys were selling their necks on pretty much every bump. They went on for a while. Tanahashi just squished him with a senton off the middle rope. Tanahashi tried Nakamura’s own spastic kicks in the corner, but Nakamura no-sold them and showed Tanahashi how it was done. They traded elbows in the middle of the ring. Tanahashi tried a dragon screw, but Nakamura blocked it and hooked a triangle choke. Shamrock was useful for the first time in the show, explaining specifically what Tanahashi had to do to escape. And Tanahashi followed his instructions, so it worked. In fact, he posted up and turned it into a Texas cloverleaf. They started teasing big moves, but neither was able to hit their finisher before they went to commercial. They traded elbows midring again, then just slapped the hell out of each other. Tanahashi hit a sling blade from the back, basically a bulldog, then a pair of high fly flows, but Nakamura got the knees up on the second one. Nakamura hit a diving bom a ye off the middle rope and KILLED TANAHASHI IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD, but Tanahashi kicked out. Nakamura hit another one with Tanahashi sitting on the mat, but Tanahashi kicked out again. He tried a third one, but Tanahashi avoided it and hit a “Japanese rolling crotch hold,” as Mauro called it, although I didn’t see any crotch involved, for the win. God damn almighty that was some great pro wrestling.
Nakamura’s postmatch promo basically said that in the G1, one loss didn’t kill you, and he would never stop fighting Tanahashi and Shibata. In the ring, Tanahashi sucked up to the Osaka crowd for a bit and played some air guitar. Backstage, he said he, Nakamura, and Shibata were all tied, and he couldn’t afford to lose any more matches. Then they interviewed him months later. He called the finish a “Japanese leg roll clutch,” which makes much more sense. He vowed to win the championship again.
ROH on Destination America (7/25/15)
Matt Taven & Mike Bennett vs. “Hollis and Gresham.” I asked Bryan what the names of the two geeks were, and he didn’t know, and then the crowd chanted “LET’S GO JOBBERS!” Kingdom dudes beat the hell out of them on the floor forever. Maria was doing commentary. She was fine but didn’t really say anything. Geeks were both really short and they actually got to make a comeback and break up pins and stuff. Kingdom finally put them away with a double superkick and a spike piledriver. Went longer than it needed to.
Caprice Coleman vs. Brutal Bob Evans vs. Silas Young vs. Cheeseburger vs. Moose vs. Dalton Castle (“w/THE BOYS”). This was a strange, random six-way with two guys in the ring and four guys on the apron, and you could enter by tagging yourself in, or if one of the other dudes left the ring. Evans insisted on starting, then Cheeseburger tagged in, so Bob tagged out. Match was a mess for a while until they built up to dudes falling outside one at a time. Moose fucked that up. Well, he’s green. There was a bit where Silas got into it with Dalton and The Boys, then Moose tagged in and ran wild. And then MOOSE HIT A SOMERSAULT TOPE. FLYING MOOSE! Prince Nana, by the was, was great on commentary. Turned into a parade of big moves, including Cheeseburger dropping Evans with a palm strike, and then Castle grabbed Moose, who is enormous, and hit a slow-motion German suplex. That was absolutely ridiculous. Castle is awesome. Evans tried to win with a rollup and his feet on the ropes, but Cheeseburger broke that up. Moose then speared Evans with a spear. A mess of a match except for when Moose or Castle was doing something cool.
Decade came out for a promo. Crowd was chanting for Whitmer to shut the fuck up and had to be bleeped. Whitmer talked about how Colby Corino was turning into a man before there eyes, almost beating Moose, then almost beating War Machine by himself. Steve Corino had his face in his hands and said none of this was true and he wasn’t ready. Whitmer said he thought of Colby as his son, and he hoped Colby thought of him as the father he never had. He said dads got their sons gifts as Steve sat there and fumed. So BJ’s gift for Colby was a gauntlet match. He had gone to the last ROH tryout camp and found four dudes who wanted Colby’s spot. Colby was so excited to be a wrestler, he was eager to get his ass kicked here.
Colby Corino vs. Shahim Ali & Wildman Kongo & Beast Ortiz & Punishment Martinez. Heels were announced at a combined weight of more than 1800 pounds, and looked every beat of it. Kongo and one of the other dudes were SO FAT. Steve stepped in the ring to fight, but BJ talked about him abandoning Colby, then asked how long it would be before Corino abandoned his new wife and family. Nigel McGuinness hit the ring to hold Corino back, and the whole segment was thrown out.
Mandy Leon’s Inside ROH segment was just a music video highliting the last time the NJPW crew was in ROH.
ACH vs. Bobby Fish. This had been a pretty insane show, so it was refreshing to just see a bunch of mat wrestling early. ACH missed a pescado and splatted on the floor. Once upon a time that would have led right to the finish. Now, they go to commercial, and when they came back ACH was winning again. Fish flipped off the crowd and they blurred his entire body from the waist up. ACH tried a 450, but Fish got the knees up. Fish worked over the leg and used a variety of knee, ankle, and heel holds, but ACH escaped them all. Fish finally won with a super falcon arrow. So Fish took like 80 percent of the match and then won. What an ass-kicking. Nothing special to see here, in the main event or the show as a whole.
WWE Raw (7/27/15)
The Helmsleys and Seth Rollins came out for a promo and promptly announced that SummerSlam would be a four-hour show. You fuckers. They booked a bunch of matches for tonight, including Big Show vs. Dean Ambrose, Paige vs. Sasha Banks, and Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens. They were sure to point out these were all new matches, which makes you wonder why they’re getting thrown out there on a random Raw. Oh, they’re also doing Bellas vs. Becky Lynch & Charlotte. Seth said he wanted people to admit he was one of the great WWE champions of all time, which brought out John Cena. He called Seth a joke and a coward, and challenged Seth to a title match for tonight. Seth started to say that Cena hadn’t earned a title shot, but Steph interrupted him and asked the people what they wanted. They wanted the match. But Steph said no. Hunter said nobody wanted to see a WWE title match, but he booked Cena vs. Rollins, with Cena’s US title on the line.
Dean Ambrose vs. Big Show, with Miz on commentary. Show immediately tore Dean’s shirt apart. Thank God Dean’s in shape. Miz said Ryback should be stripped of the IC title due to injury, just like they had done to Daniel Bryan. Dean hit a tope, but tried a dive from the top rope to the floor and Show caught him with a chop coming down. After the break, Show had Dean in something like a half-crab, but Ambrose untied Show’s boot to get out of the hold. They went into nearfalls and big moves, including Dean kicking out of a chokeslam. Miz said he would have kicked out too, but probably at 1. Show hit another chokeslam, throwing Dean over to the side of the ring where there’s less give, and Dean rolled out to the floor. Show followed him out and hit a spear out there and tried to win by countout. Dean beat the count back in, but then lost his balance and fell back outside to the floor. Dean fired back and tried a tope, but Show caught him in midair with the knockout punch. This time Show won by countout. I loved this finish a ton, because it was different and new, it put Dean over as a lunatic who won’t quit, but still put Show over in a dominant manner. Show then tried another spear on the floor, but Dean dodged and Show went through the barricade.
Fandango vs. Neville. Just a squash and Neville won with the red arrow. Stardust then appeared on the Tron congratulating Neville for saving the day again. He talked about heroes, quoted his dad, then mentioned heroes who wore green hoods. He tore up a magazine that I assume had the dude from Arrow on it, but it wasn’t shown clearly. He vowed to save the world from overbearing do-gooders and asked Neville to be his hero. Neville had no idea what to make of this. Neither did the fans.
Paige, Becky, and Charlotte had a meeting backstage. Team BAD arrived and they all talked trash for a while. Something about the babyfaces worrying that Tamina and Naomi would interfere.
Paige vs. Sasha Banks. We got a Sasha Banks video profile. This was a long match even before they went to commercial. Crowd wasn’t into it early, but the longer it went the more they reacted. All the sidekicks got thrown out during the break, so it was one-on-one. Paige made a comeback a good 15 minutes into this and the crowd was into it. Sasha hit the Banks statement out of nowhere for the submission win. This wasn’t the match of the year or anything, but it confirmed what those of us who watch NXT have said for months: you give these women time to show what they can do and get themselves over, and they’ll make the division something worth watching on their own.
Renee interviewed Seth Rollins backstage. He said he had won plenty of matches on his own lately, and every month he defended his championship against the best men in the company, while Cena did his US title challenges against the guys who weren’t good enough to face Seth.
Rusev and Summer Rae came out for a promo. He said he was smitten, and his heart wanted to burst out for the woman who had healed his soul, “the always hot and obedient Summer.” He said it was a woman’s privelege to obey, but a man’s privelege to give gifts, and tonight he would show us how to treat a special woman. And he gave her a puppy. He said the puppy had skinny legs and an ugly face and was neutered, so they were calling him Dog Ziggler. That is a funnier joke than Dolph Ziggler has ever told. His next gift was a dead fish body. He told Summer to take it and hold it high. She did so with a smile. Rusev said they were naming this fish after another cold fish, so they called it Lana. Then Lana came out and told them to shut up and called Summer a wanna-be Lana. Summer called her a cold fish, so Lana kicked her in the thigh and rubbed her face in the fish. Rusev stood there screaming then when she left he threw the fish up the ramp like a football. This was a ten-minute skit built around one person’s whole idea of rubbing Summer’s face in a fish.
Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores. Prime Time Players were on commentary, which was mostly Titus burying Darren for not being very good at commentary. He also buried JBL, Cole, and Saxton. Torito interfered or something and the camera missed it. “That’s BULL!” TItus said. JBL claimed there really were bullfighters in Puerto Rico and Titus outright called him a liar. JBL named a bunch of Puerto Rican matadors and dared him to look them up. Saxton pointed out that the Matadors were calling the Players out. “They’re supposed to call us out,” he replied. “We’re the champs.” He also noted that they were really calling out a whuppin’. Thank God for Titus, for a long time the only thing about this match worth watching. Finally Sin Cara hit his one-arm powerbomb and hot-tagged Kalisto for the big comeback. New Day then came out doing the best entrance of all time. No pyro, no light show, just three dudes skipping with a sign claiming that Kofi was the real Mega Dad of the Year. I don’t know who taught Kofi to skip, but I swear I would watch three hours of that. They got into a shoving match, which distracted the Matadors, and the Dragons hit a rollup for the win. New Day then danced to the Dragons’ music, mocking the Matadors. So the story is that Titus and the New Day are great, and none of the teams like each other.
Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper came out for a spooky promo. Something about a pet who ran away and learned the world was dangerous and came home. Then he said he had set Luke free too, so Luke could learn the truth. Luke said something about giving his life for Bray. Bray said that if Roman really cared about Dean Ambrose, he would tell Dean to leave forever and save himself.
Becky Lynch & Charlotte vs. Nikki Bella & Alicia Fox. This was the top of the third hour match. Becky got the hot tag and threw some wacky suplexes. JBL has dubbed her with the “fun to watch” label. I don’t know if that’s good news or not. Alicia tried the schoolboy, the most devastating move of 2015, but Becky turned it into her armbar for the submission win. Just a match.
They showed the elimination from Tough Enough last week. ZZ was standing there shirtless with man-boobs and didn’t get eliminated. They showed Big Show chopping some dudes. They only showed the dudes who sold, thank god.
Kevin Owens vs. Randy Orton. Randy looked 9 feet tall. Sheamus was on commentary talking about “Randy Bore-ton.” They brawled back and forth until Owens cut him off on the floor and hit a fallaway slam into the barricade. Orton did that over-the-back backbreaker he uses. Owens kicked both his feet in the air and came down with all his weight on Randy’s back, and Randy did NOT look like he liked that. Orton made his comeback and they brawled on the floor, but then Sheamus jumped up and dropped Orton with the brogue kick. The two heels went to beat Orton up in the ring, but then Cesaro zoomed in to make the save. Owens cut him off and hit a pop-up powerbomb and the segment ended. Your basic four-way midcard feud, but it’s still interesting to see Orton a part of that.
Renee interviewed Cena backstage. He didn’t have much to say.
John Cena vs. Seth Rollins. They had a good match, but nothing so great that I was clamoring to see them rematch on pay per view in a few weeks. They were trading punches in the middle of the ring when Seth decided to do a jumping knee to the face and Cena’s nose exploded and he collapsed in the corner, bleeding everywhere. They showed this in super slow mo and OH MY GOD THAT LOOKED PAINFUL. The doctor tried to check John in the corner, but Cena jumped up and attacked Seth to prevent even the tease of a stoppage. Eventually they checked him out and determined him good to go. God bless the guy, he didn’t shy away from anything, taking the buckle bomb and all sorts of other big slams. Cena hit the AA but Seth kicked out. The whole first several rows were all on their feet by now. The doctor checked the nose, but Cena continued. His whole nose was moved over significantly and everything he did had to hurt his face. And on that note, Rollins hit a superplex and rolled through into a falcon arrow. FUCKING OW. Cena kicked out of that, so Seth tried a phoenix splash. Cena avoided that and hooked the STF, cranking in the hold for once, and Seth tapped. Holy crap. Well that whole thing turned around. That was nuts. JBL, for once, summed things up perfectly: John Cena is one tough son of a bitch. Quite a memorable episode, and to their credit, they kept Taker, Lesnar, and Heyman off TV entirely.
WWE NXT (7/29/15)
Greater Tri-State Area Crew vs. Wilder & Dawson. Just when I thought Enzo Amore couldn’t look any weirder, He found white pants with that blue “100” emoji all over them. One of the announcers made a Scrappy-Doo reference. In 2015. Your standard shine-heat-hot tag match. Big Cass hit a Stinger splash and jumped so high he nearly fell out of the ring. Weird finish. Carmella slapped Enzo to get him back in the match. He was still out of it, but chased the other dudes around the ring until they cut him off. Then they hit him with basically a 3D, dropping the dude into a codebreaker instead of a cutter, for the win. That move looked awesome.
Devin interviewed Jason Jordan and Chad Gable. They buried all the babyface teams like Enzo & Cass and the “Hype Bros.” They did their stupid “ready willing and Gable” catchphrase. This made the NXT tag division look very, very thin. Not that it’s ever been terribly deep.
They did a video package of the Charlotte-Dana feud. Dana took credit for training Charlotte (?) and then after that Charlotte stole her spot in the Tapout ad. The timeline there doesn’t quite make sense, but this did a fine job of explaining why they don’t like each other.
Baron Corbin vs. Jesse Sorenson. Holy crap! Jesse actually got an introduction. He still lost in seconds.
Tyler Breeze couldn’t understand why William Regal hadn’t responded to him on social media. Regal said he had found a great opponent for Tyler, and Tyler should be careful what he wished for.
Jason Jordan & Chad Gable vs. Elias Sampson & A tall black man with an afro and white pants. They announced his name, but I didn’t catch it, and there were no graphics. Apparently his name was “Valenzuela Junior,” so maybe he’s not that black. Oh my god, I just figured it out, that’s Jeffrey McWild from Virtua Fighter. Swear to god, go Google him right now. Amateur dudes do a a great job of mixing in their, uh, amateur stuff in pro wrestling spots, including their finish, which is apparently called “grand amplitude.” What the fuck does that even mean?.
Devin interviewed Dana Brooke and Emma. Dana said she would beat Charlotte tonight, then said it was too important a night to pat Devin on the head and walked away. Then she came back and patted Devin on the head, and Devin was all SERIOUSLY in the greatest so-bad-it’s-good delivery ever.
THE BEST SEGMENT OF ALL TIME ON ANY SHOW IN ANY GENRE AIRED. Bull Dempsey was sick of being fat, so it was time to get BULL-FIT! And we got a 1980s training montage of Bull trying to imitate men bigger and stronger than him and falling down instead. The best here was when random man screamed at him “YOU’RE AN IDIOT! LOSE WEIGHT!” EVERYONE GO WATCH THIS NOW.
Dana vs. Charlotte. Dana may be the biggest heel in the company. People just HATED her. Dana was wearing all this fitness and pro wrestling gear, and then wrestling in Converse. And not just wrestling shoes that look like Converse, they showed the soles, and they were fucking CONVERSE. Charlotte did a bunch of power spots, and then fell back under Dana’s weight. Because Dana’s too fat? She’s not exactly One Man Gang. That was weird. Dana really is awfully good for being as green as she is. I man, she’s already better than Emma. Charlotte hit a spear, knocked Emma off the apron, then hit natural selection for the win. Well that was dominant.
Samoa Joe did a backstage promo saying he was there to win the NXT title, and Rhyno was in his way. He looked into the camera to adress Rhyno, threatening to beat him down and choke him out.
Regal was interviewed after the segment with Finn Balor and Kevin Owens last week. Before he could say much, Owens stepped up and said he had not meant for that to happen, and he apologized. Regal accepted this, but after Owens left, Regal said he couldn’t wait to see Owens get beaten. Really, soundly beaten.
Devin interviewed Eva Marie backstage. She spoke in a wooden manner for a while, then vowed to win the women’s title from Sasha. Yeah, good luck with that.
Kevin Owens vs. Martin Something. This show REALLY needs graphics for everyone. Owens’ farmer tan is getting more pronounced. Like, he must be wearing a t-shirt in the tanning bed. Martin got a little offense and looked pretty good, but Owens put him away with the senton and pop-up powerbomb. This is the most old school show ever, nothing but promos and squashes. Owens killed Martin afterwards with a powerbomb into the apron, then mocked Balor’s pose on the top rope.
Rhyno video package including ECW clips, and I mean the original ECW from the 1990s. What I got out of this is that Rhyno has not aged in 15 years. Seriously, he looked exactly the same. It was creepy.
VaudeVillains vs. Blake & Murphy. My buddy Jim dubbed the champs the Rave & Roll Express, which is such a good name I’m angry about it. Simon Gotch used a swank rana into an armbar. Not sure that’s very old-timey, but it was cool. They did some other stuff for a while. Aiden backdropped one guy over the top rope onto his partner, and they both splatted to the floor. That looked terribly painful for both of them. They Aiden off and put him in a bunch of chinlocks. Gotch got a hot tag and ran wild with elbows as the crowd chanted “OH MY GOTCH!” He made a pretty good comeback against both dudes. And then Alexa interfered and the champs won with a schoolboy. Yup. Took us 15 minutes to get to the same lame finish we see all the time anyway. VaudeVillains attacked afterwards and posed with the belts. Alexa was disgusted and then found herself trapped between the Villains. Villains were very, VERY conflicted about what to do next and walked frustrated circles around her for a long time. Crowd chanted “CHIVALRY!” They agreed and held the ropes open for her. She responded by slapping them both in the face and leaving on her own. Now who in the hell are the VaudeVillains going to get to be their woman? It’s got to be somebody old-timey, but Mae and Moolah are dead. Hmmm. Well, that match was very boring. Fun show up till then.
ULTIMA LUCHA PART I (7/29/15)
Black Lotus was working out in her cell. Dario Cueto in a tuxedo came by to taunt her. His scary brother growled. Dario said pit bulls were not dangerous by nature, but man had bred them to be violent, and that’s what their father had done to his brother. However, he said his brother had not killed her parents, Dragon Azteca had. Lotus practiced her palm strikes against the wall.
Mack vs. Cage in a falls count anywhere match. They started brawling at the top of the stairs, then threw each other into and down the bleachers. Cage wacked him with a chair a few times, then Mack speared him through a wall into a room. This crowd was INSANE. Mack got sprayed with a fire extinguisher and Vampiro said he looked like he had been rolled in dough. Mack wacked him with a cooler and beer spilled everywhere, so Mack went full Stone Cold, spraying beer everywhere, hitting a stunner, and bad mouthing him. Cage kicked out. Mack was taking some big bumps on the floor out there. They set up a table on the floor, then brawled on the top rope. Mack eventually hit a sitout powerbomb off the apron through the table. This crowd was so hot they were getting distorted. All levels were peaking. They brawled up in the crowd again and Cage basically hit a superplex onto a metal platform. These dudes are KILLING each other. Cage found some cinderblocks conveniently left up there and curb stomped Mack’s head through them. Thank goodness that was the finish. This was some very violent insanity. (***1/4).
Disciples of Death vs. Son of Havoc & Angelico & Ivelisse. Tornado rules, so no tags. Ivelisse was in there with crutches and her walking boot. Disciples beat them up for a while, then Havoc and Angelico started diving everywhere while Ivelisse used her crutches as weapons on the floor. She got trapped in a stretch muffler to her good leg in the ring, but Havoc saved her. Angelico brawled up to the top of the office, then dived not into the ring, but onto all three Disciples with a bodypress to the floor. This man is mentally ill. Vampiro outright said he was dead. Everyone on both teams was down, but Catrina entered the ring and held up the magic rock, and the Disciples rose to their feet. Ivellise then confronted her in the ring and brawled with her on the mat, knocking the magic rock from her grasp. Catrina got the stone and wacked Ivelisse in the head with it, and one of the Disciples then covered her for the pin. That’s sad. Ivelisse is such a great babyface. Disciples then made Havoc and Angelico watch as Catrina licked Ivelisse’s face. Lots of great action here. (***).
Striker and Vampiro drank some Miller Lite and talked about how good it was. This was clearly not Vampiro’s first beer of the evening.
Drago vs. Hernandez in a Believer’s Backlash match. The fans with the straps got their own entrance. Drago immediately got thrown out, but the fans didn’t whip him, they helped him to his feet. Hernandez was pissed and left the ring to confront him, but they whipped the PISS out of him, including shots to the face. Announcers pointed out that this whole feud started because Hernandez claimed that dragons were not real. Hernandez got thrown outside and whipped again. They were not going easy on this dude, that’s for sure. There was a huge fat guy who was trying to whip him, but he was so uncoordinated that he could barely move. Most of the match was Hernandez no-selling everything and throwing Drago around. Drago hit his wacky convoluted rollup, but Hernandez kicked out. Hernandez then border tossed Drago out of the ring onto about three fans, who all went down. Hernandez then tried his Undertaker dive, but Drago spat black mist into his face in midair, and Hernandez CRASHED AND BURNED on the floor. Good god almighty. Then this poor fucker had to get whipped more. He tried to hide under the ring, but all the fans moved to the other side to meet him when he emerged from the other side. Meanwhile, Drago set up a table, and also pulled out NUNCHAKU. Hernandez begged off from the fans, then turned and saw Drago and panicked. Drago nunchucked him in the head a few times, then laid him across the table and wiped him out with a splash from the top. He hit another splash in the ring to finish him off and get the win. This, like so many things in Lucha Underground, should not have worked, but it did. Hernandez was literally outnumbered about 12-to-1 and fought them all off and nearly won, and took an ASS KICKING along the way. But in the end, everyone wanted to see the guy get his ass kicked. And so they did. Great show so far. (****).
Dragon Azteca arrived at the building, but a mysterious figure in a white hoodie blocked his entrance and they did some kung fu. They talked about THE PROPHECY, and how Azteca could die if he walked in. Azteca said he might die, but DRAGON AZTECA WOULD LIVE FOREVER. The msyterious hoodie-wearer stepped aside and allowed Azteca to enter the building. The giant door slammed shut behind him. HE’S COMING TO SAVE YOU BLACK LOTUS! He’s gonna get eaten and we all know it.