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“We weren’t John, we weren’t Tommy. We were always Kenny Pohlman’s little brother or little sister,” Tommy told Patch.

Tommy recalled him and his siblings growing up when there were no phones or video games — kids spent time playing in the neighborhood and would go home when the streetlights came on. The Pohlmans played sports from an early age, whether it was stickball, football or kickball.

“You name it, the entire neighborhood was always outside, playing,” Tommy said. “As we grew up, Kenny and John were the athletic ones. They played football, baseball. I always enjoyed watching with my parents in the stands. Kenny had a passion and a love for sport and physical fitness.”

Kenny’s siblings would joke about his penchant for waking up at 4:30 a.m. each morning to go to the gym.

“Not many people have the dedication to get up every morning and hit the gym at 4:30,” Tommy said. “He took pride in his physical appearance and that was his outlet. That’s how he got rid of stress. He started every day getting a good workout in.”

Kenny, in a word, was “contagious,” Tommy said.

“Kenny’s spirit and attitude and personality was just contagious. His smile was contagious. Kenny always greeted everyone as ‘my friend.’ Whether he knew you or not, it was, ‘Hello, my friend.’ He started emails with, ‘Hello, my friend.’ In my eulogy, I said, ‘If you knew Kenny, you loved him. And if you didn’t know him, I apologize you didn’t get to experience his love for life and his joy for life.'”

The Pohlman siblings all married within six months of each other. Kenny married Kim, his high school sweetheart, after spending years as neighbors in Brentwood. Kenny lost Kim to cancer 18 years ago.

“It was a childhood friendship that grew to a romance,” Tommy said. “After high school, they began dating. They led a great life and they had two great children. Unfortunately, cancer took Kim away from Kenny.”

Tommy had left New York to go to college in Las Vegas, but Kenny and Kim would visit him for a week at a time.

When Kim died, Kenny was left to raise Brianna and Tyler by himself.

“Kenny, it always tore him apart that we were married and had strong relationships, and he had Kim taken away from him,” Tommy said. “He always wanted to find true love again. I don’t think it ever would have been possible to find what him and Kim had. It was his intent to find something as close as possible.”

Kenny remarried and Jenna was born.

The Pohlman family would travel together to Disney, go on cruises and take other vacations together.

“Throughout the years when my family and I would come back to New York, it was generally Kenny’s house we would stay at,” Tommy said. “As close as our bond was as siblings, all the cousins have a bond that’s just as close.”

In the face of the unthinkable, Tommy said Brianna, Tyler and Jenna have a support system and a lot of love around them.

“We’re going to do everything we can to make sure it’s as easy for them moving forward as possible,” Tommy said.

Tyler is enrolled in a seven-year physical therapy program at Springfield College in
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Each of Kenny’s children relied on Kenny, who worked in the IT industry as a network solutions and support specialist, he said.

“And Jenna, although she still has her mom, she had to lay her dad to rest,” Tommy said.

Tommy said the GoFundMe was created to help the children his brother left behind.

“When my brother passed away, people were sending food, they were sending flowers,” he said. “Everybody is helpless and they want to do something to help. We coordinated with Kenny’s employer. I don’t want them wasting money on flowers or dumb things. My brother, John, and I spoke to his employer, and we established a GoFundMe to help with future expenses from college education to rent, or whatever it might be.”

Tommy said a way that people can support Kenny’s children, siblings, and parents is helping set the record straight about Kenny’s relationship with Kelly Coppola, which, he said, began around a year-and-a-half ago.

“Kenny’s been portrayed as the new boyfriend, or the new beau,” Tommy said. “Kenny and his family welcomed Kelly and her family into their home. He was not the new beau. He was not the new boyfriend.”

Tommy asked people to remember the love Kenny felt for Kelly and her daughter, emotionally welcoming them with open arms as they began to share a life together. He spoke about how happy his brother was with Kelly, how both had found a love that filled them with sheer joy.

“I want people to focus on the love that they had for one another when they died. The love that Kenny had for his family and friends, and the love that we all had for Kenny. It was all evident during his funeral and his services. It speaks volumes for who Kenny was, and frankly, for my parents. Our upbringing and what they were able to do with us. I want them to be proud of who Kenny was and what Kenny created.”

Tommy said Kelly brought his brother a new sense of happiness — the couple had embarked upon a new chapter.

“He didn’t ask to lose his wife,” Tommy said. “Living in New Jersey, I didn’t see as much of Kenny and Kelly in person as my parents and my brother and my sister and their friends did. My dad said it best. ‘Kenny brought out the best in Kelly. Kelly brought out the best in Kenny.’ Kelly’s father spoke about, they had never seen Kelly so happy.”

He added: “Regardless of the circumstances, people deserve to be happy in life. Divorced, not divorced, I don’t care what the circumstances are. They died in love with each other. If we can take a little peace out of all this, it’s that they died loving one another. My brother died trying to protect Kelly. . . My intention is to make sure my brother did not die in vain, Kelly did not die in vain — and that people know who they were and that their legacy lives on.”

Lori Patton, Kelly’s sister-in-law, previously told Patch that the family takes comfort in how happy Kelly was with Kenny.

“After years of struggle through these other hardships, she finally met someone that was wonderful to her, not only taking care of her emotionally,” but filling her life with complete joy, Patton said.

“She was in love, for the first time in a long time,” Patton said. “She embraced his family and he embraced Gianna and the rest of her family. They were both really family-oriented. The time she was with Kenny was the happiest of her life. We’ve never seen her with someone that treated her so well.”

Tommy said there were a few things he would tell Kenny if he could.

“Number one: We have his kids. His kids will be taken care of. I would tell him I love him one more time. All of my siblings would tell him that it was an honor and a privilege to be known as Kenny Pohlman’s little brother. We will always be Kenny Pohlman’s little brother.”

Tommy said growing up, he was always called Tommy.

“My name is Thomas, but Tommy was my name growing up. In my professional life, it’s Tom. Kenny, John, Toni, my parents, everyone at home calls me Tommy, still. On my Facebook page, I officially changed my name to Tommy in memory of my brother. That’s the type of bond we have.”

Get more local news delivered straight to your inbox.Thu, Sep 5, 2024 at 3:54 pm ET|Updated Thu, Sep 5, 2024 at 5:18 pm ET